NebraskaHerb
FIVE-TIME NATIONAL FOOTBALL CHAMPS
"Not the victory but the action. Not the goal but the game.
In the deed the glory."

Friday, January 12, 2007

5 Stages of Grief

1-Denial-"this can't be happening to me", looking for the former spouse in familiar places, or if it is death, setting the table for the person or acting as if they are still in living there. No crying. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss.

2-Anger-"why me?", feelings of wanting to fight back or get even with spouse of divorce, for death, anger at the deceased, blaming them for leaving.

3-Bargaining-bargaining often takes place before the loss. Attempting to make deals with the spouse who is leaving, or attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing, praying for them to come back.

4-Depression-overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning loss of person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb. Perhaps feeling suicidal.

5-Acceptance-there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly. Realization that it takes two to make or break a marriage. Realization that the person is gone (in death) that it is not their fault, they didn't leave you on purpose. (even in cases of suicide, often the deceased person, was not in their right frame of mind) Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, finding comfort and healing. Our goals turn toward personal growth. Stay with fond memories of person.

57 comments:

P_G_S said...

Everything ok dude? I guess there is something here that I missed and I'm concerned something bad (beyond Football...Go Pats) has gone down.

Stay safe and thank you for your service!

P_G_S said...

Just followed the links on your post...I thought they were just underlined words...I am an idiot.

Anonymous said...

Sack, I know exactly what you mean. This sucks! I know this is harder for a lot of others than myself. I've still got my family (except Brent obviously) with me and you and yours will have to wait a little longer. I've always said it's harder on families with little kids than it is for parents or for families with older children. Not taking anything away from how others feel. That's just my personal opinion. We ALL want everyone home Soon and Safely.

Hang in there. All of you. You know how to vent that grief so do what you need to do, even if it means crying. I know I did.

Ma Beans.

Blaez said...

stay strong. it hurts, it hurts so badly. stay strong.

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to let you know that we are all thinking of you.

Your ConAgra Friends

Adrianne said...

What a heartbreaker. For whatever it's worth, I appreciate the enormity of the sacrifice you're making. You, Erika and Benjamin continue to be in our thoughts and prayers.

Kathi said...

So sorry to hear this! Realized as soon as I saw the news it meant 'you guys', and all I can say is the prayers are continuing...for all of you AND for all the families.
And I just want to add my voice to the 'this sucks' chorus. I have seen extentions now with 3 different units that had friends of ours involved, PRIOR to this bad news coming for you guys.
You all and your families are being asked to give so much above and beyond!!

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LAW

Anonymous said...

Sack,

Sorry.


Lil Sack

Brian said...

I can't imagine the emotions that you guys are going through. But, don't let this break you down. Keep your head high and chest out. You guys are making history bringing freedom & democracy to nations and your actions will be forever bound. Take with you all of the experience that you are being given the opportunity to be part of over there. Be proud of your incredible sacrafices and be condifent that you do it all with a strong faith in God and the complete support of your family, friends & faithful readers. I for one am behind you 110% and am amazed at your strength & courage. Can't wait to get you home either bud.

Until then,

Stay strong! Stay safe!

Your buddy B.

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