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Wednesday, August 23, 2006
SSG Johnson is Mean, but SGT Hanseling Saves the Day
Okay, I left out an important part of the pool party story, and would be remiss if I didn't share it. We (the S1 guys) were hanging out in the deep end of the pool, just relaxing and enjoying the cool water. On a side note, they shut down the high dives since I guess too many people were getting hurt (black eyes and separated shoulders). I had just jumped back into the pool and then put my sunglasses on. SSG Johnson thought that I had jumped in with them on, and wondered if that hurt my face. We had a good laugh like usual at his expense, so he got angry. He then said he was going to kill me in my sleep with his bare hands if I didn't get back out of the pool and dive in with my Army issue Oakley's on. Being afraid for my life, and not wanting to disobey a direct order from a senior NCO, I got out and dove in. I was primarily worried about hurting myself, and was so shaken by the threat on my life that I wasn't thinking correctly. So I dove in, and sure enough, when I surfaced, the shades were no longer on my face. The bad thing about it was that the deep end is like 14 feet deep, and there is a current, so they quickly floated out and down towards the center of the pool. The Hammer would not be deterred, and immediately dove down to the middle, 14 feet deep, and 14 feet out, and rescued my sunglasses. I owe a big debt of gratitude to SGT Hanseling for saving me from paying the Army for my glass. Thanks buddy! SSG Johnson never did apologize for forcing me to do it, but that is just how he rolls.
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16 comments:
True story. Wanted to vouch for this story before SSG Johnson tries to get on here and sway the hearts of minds of Kane's loyal readers.
Glad to see you got some relief from the heat and the cafeteria food. What I'm really wondering is how did those steaks compare to Leon's? Sorry to bring it up, but I couldn't resist.
This story reminds me of a time I was rollerblading down the trail, and a biker lost her Oakleys while she was riding. I don't think she ever found hers, though, so good thing someone's got your back.
...Brandee
Brandee, you crack me up. As for Steve's army buddies, if you could refrain from harming my husband until after he gets back from leave, that would be appreciated.
-Erika
Once again SGT Hanseling and SGT Kane have too much time on their hands. I simply asked SGT Hanseling if SGT Kane had dove in with his Oakley’s on and SGT Kane overheard our conversation. Using that Master’s Degree of his, he pondered the idea and gave it a shot. The only truth to the story is that SGT Hanseling did in fact amazingly dive to the bottom of the 14 feet deep pool to recover the lost pair of sunglasses. SGT Kane even gave SGT Hanseling a big hug and whispered something in his ear to show his gratitude. The dynamic duo strikes again at the not cool enough SSG Johnson
Steve -
I always dive in the pool with my Oakleys on. That is how the cool kids do it. And as far as Brandee's question about the steaks. I can answer that from here in Lincoln. No, the steaks were not even close to the high quality of Leon's. Nothing beats Leon's A Football Team or their corn fed Nebraska Rib Eye steaks.
B-Rad, all the guys from last year are asking about you. Tanner Morton said that he wishes that you were here to take over the play calling so that when we are up by 3 touch downs that you would still call pass plays into the end zone trying to run the score up on a beaten and battered opponent.
Brandee,
Dan is right. The steaks are no where close to Leons. We were just discussing how great those steaks were the other day. The Flecker said he still day dreams about them from time to time. I can't wait to have the greatest Ribeye in the history of the world in a few weeks. And a few Blue and Chromes.
Not to mention the fact that the opposing team had already took out all of their starters and put in the scrubs. But hey, I had to do something to establish myself as an "O" coordinator. Now I've made a name for myself and will continue to crush defenses one second team at a time!
Sounds like a close one Sack. There always has to be a "that guy" doesn't there? But if that's the way he rolls, good for him. You could probably use a little roughin' up.
But Johnson be careful, the Sack plays dirty. He once put me in the hospital by having Erica stategically place a glass on the floor behind me and then he, out of no where, grabbed me and body slammed me on top of it trying to do some sort of permanant kidney or spinal damage or something as Erica and her brother Dan giggled about it over in a corner. Blood everywhere. Yeah...that was my 25th birthday present from the Sack. That's the way the he rolls.
Brandee, I'm not sure...but do they make steaks better than Leons? Especially when Dan's on the grill with a Blue & Chrome in hand.
Moose football rules!
Ole' buddy B.
Good point Brian. Dan's got the grillmaster's touch. I have to say, the version of your "stabbing" I heard was a little different but just as funny. You people are crazy.
...Brandee
B,
Yeah, that was a pretty sweet move. Erika at first didn't want to help out because she was scared of getting blood on the floor, but I talked her into it. I remember thinking that once I sent you to the hospital I would have an excellent opportunity to put on my do rag and taunt your girlfriend. Good memories. Hey, I won right?
Sack,
Yeah I would say that was a "W" for the Sack. Anytime the other guy goes to the hospital and a doctor has his entire hand in his back pulling out handfulls of glass its definately not a draw.
Brandee, I don't know what these people are quackin' at ya' but that's the way things went down...these people are dangerous! Down right dangerous.
Steve -
I was just wondering which girlfriend of B's you were taunting? There was like 3 or 4 of them there at the emergency room all at one time. One from grade school, one from high school, one from the previous 4 months before "the stabbing", and the last one may have been a first date... I am not sure... :) The do rag was sweet and it looked great on you as you basked in the glory of sending B to the hospital. To be honest with you it was one of the greatest sights to see of all time. I have never seen any one take as much pride and pleasure in sending their best friend and roommate to the emergency room as you did. To be honest with you as a totally innocent bystander in that situation, I couldn't have been prouder of you and B for the pure entertainment that you guys provided for me that evening. Thank you to the both of you!!!! What great memories!!!!
B, I would just be thankful that Steve didn't try and finish you off by trying to hit you with his 3 iron... oh, wait... I don't think that Steve has ever and I mean EVER hit any thing with his 3 iron... so, I guess you probably would have been ok in that situation... but look out for that famous "Teardrop Putter" cause every one knows that when Steve gets with in 4 inches of the cup... That "Teardrop putter" is automatic!!!!
Dan
Who was Ray playing burnout with that night? That was classic as well. The only thing I'm going to say about B's girlfriends is that I raced one of them around the block and won by a mile. I should have to write a book about the many loves of B. I can't believe you are calling out my 3 iron. That is the best club in my bag. I crush that club better than you hit your driver! I challenge anyone to a 3 iron long ball competition.
I don't think Ray was there. Was he? Anyway, Jeff N. and B. were playing burn out and I think Jeff was winning.
Erika
Ray was there because this was the same night that we arm wrestled and Ray broke out his limp-wristed style. Cheater. Man there were a lot of crazy stuff going down this night. I think it was even a Husker gameday.
Yeah, Ray was there. He might have slept in the closet that night. Practicing on how to keep his foot warm.
Come on Rik...Norris was winning burn out? It was my birthday. Give a brother a little benefit of the doubt here...
Who cares about the 3 iron Sack when the "teardrop" putter is where the money is. 4 inches...automatic!
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