"Not the victory but the action. Not the goal but the game.
In the deed the glory."

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Rock Paper Scissors, Stevie Wonder, and Road House

I thought at first this Article about Rock, Paper, Scissors was a joke. But it wasn't. There is a World Championship for Rock, Paper, Scissors. Seriously. No joke. The creators of Win Ben Stein's Money decided it would be cool to have a tournament and give away prizes. Sometimes I think it is a good thing that I'm not independently wealthy, because some of my "good ideas" would surely be put into practice if I had the funding to do so. Guess who they got to sponsor it, none other than Bud Light. It sounds like the beer was free, so you can imagine that some of the people were pretty tuned up. I think this is one sport where the amount of alcohol probably didn't hurt any. The funny thing is that if you read the article, they talk about their "strategy" for winning. Whenever the wife and I have to decide something important, like what to name our son or whether to refinance the mortgage, we like to go to the RPS method, which I invariably lose. I also overthink it too much, whereas my better half prefers just to let it fly. The dude that ended up winning ($50,000 !!!!!) is from Omaha. I was already thoroughly enjoying the article, and then I got to this gem at the end:

Twitchel explained his championship strategy this way: "I have no strategy at all. I drink beer and throw whatever comes to my mind." Which might explain why, when McGill went the bureaucratic route and threw paper back-to-back in unconventional fashion, Twitchel, too aggressive, went rock, rock to lose the title. "I was thinking, 'There ain't no way he'll throw the same thing twice' -- and he did," Twitchel lamented. "I give him all credit. He is a good guy; good thing he won."

Wow! Paper back to back, unbelievable. That has to rank right up there in great sports moments with the Tommie Frazier Run or the 1980 US Olympic Hockey win over mother Russia.

Thirty minutes after his victory, McGill didn't remember his winning combination.
How did he train for the six-hour mental marathon? "I shotgunned a ton of beer," he said. "I listened to a ton of Stevie Wonder. I was nailing that. "I can't write a thesis or something like that. I am not very good at intense math or something like that. But rock, paper, scissors is something I am good at. Feels pretty special. I would compare it to Swayze after the filming of 'Road House.'"

Priceless. Only in a Rock, Paper, Scissors tournament do you get a Stevie Wonder and Road House reference in the same quote. Unbelievable. On a side note, did you know they made a Road House 2 , Dalton is dead and his nephew takes over the bouncer with a heart of gold role. This has to be in the top 5 uncessary sequals of all time. I would put it right up there with Speed 2, Superman 4, Rocky 5, Oceans 12, and the worst sequel of all time, Caddyshack 2.


JH said...

Nicely done. I can't imagine that RPS tourney working without the booze though - defiantely brings out the best in anyone!

Brian said...

Kind of dissapointing. My sponsors, Schlitz & Olympia, my family, my coach and myself had high hopes this year about entering. My coach simply said that I just wasn't prepared. Physically, I think we where fine he said, but mentally...not quite there yet. I mean back to back paper. Glad I wasn't there. Might have ended up getting hurt...or worse. With a strong work ethic though through the off season, Jimmy says that I have potential to be the best there ever was. Man...I hope he's right. Now...where's my beer.

Tiger = Golf
Munson = Bowling

Ole' Buddy B